I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
it was like eating out sand paper
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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