The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
we're so committed to being not committed
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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