dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
