Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
