the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Randomize
