no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I just found puke in my bra..
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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