i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
