I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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