I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
