Do you still have your period?
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
