Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
