You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
