You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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