It's like God shit irony all over that family
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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