Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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