I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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