sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
