I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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