He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
