dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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