this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
