he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
