He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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