I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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