did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
