I feel great
I just peed on a car
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
