did you get engaged???
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
