STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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