New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
