what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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