I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
