just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
