I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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