I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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