I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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