What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Hippo gnu deer
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
