Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
