she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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