I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
