HIV tests are more positive than that guy
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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