The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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