handjob tips. give me some.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
