I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
