They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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