I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
she told me i tasted like america
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
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