He asked to "fluff my boner.."
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
