can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
