I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
