Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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