Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
