On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
