that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
