Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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