WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Randomize
