i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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