You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
