i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
