The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
