I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
