I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Congratulations! We have a period
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
