Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
