saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I looked at my own cervix.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
