i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I just want to make out with him forever
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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