I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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